


black marker, empty skin

by yuejunnie



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, M/M, Occasional fluff, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Unrequited Love, i still don't know how to tag, poor Mingyu, unrequited soulmate?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23365414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yuejunnie/pseuds/yuejunnie
Summary: mingyu has been writing to his soulmate for thirteen years, eight months, five days, and sixteen hours.his soulmate hasn’t responded to him in thirteen years, eight months, five days, and sixteen hours.maybe, he thinks, it's time to move on.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Wen Jun Hui | Jun/Xu Ming Hao | The8, mentioned
Comments: 6
Kudos: 67





	black marker, empty skin

mingyu has been writing to his soulmate for thirteen years, eight months, five days, and sixteen hours.

his soulmate hasn’t responded to him in thirteen years, eight months, five days, and sixteen hours.

and yet he still writes, occasional messages asking  _ how are you?  _ and  _ i had a good day today, what about yours?  _ but never what he really wants to ask,  _ why don’t you respond to me? _ or  _ do you really hate me that much?  _

mingyu hopes. he knows he is a fool for still hoping, still believing that one day his soulmate might respond. but he writes anyway, because this is the only tangible proof he has of his soulmate, the moments where the letters he scrawls onto his skin shimmer a little when he tilts his arm. in their own way, the letters ground him, remind him of who he is. a believer; a dreamer; a fool.

he watches his friends find their soulmates, smiles with them when they’re happy, hugs them tight when they’re sad, offers them advice when they’re fighting. it warms his heart, that his friends are still here with him even once they’ve found their soulmates, never failing to make time for him.

sometimes it gets to be too much. sometimes the honey-sweet way hansol looks at seungkwan turns cloying; sometimes the way jun casually, effortlessly drapes himself over minghao looks constraining. sometimes mingyu will have to excuse himself and leave the room, sending a small, apologetic smile to his friends. they always understand, though — he’s so lucky to have them.

  
  


mingyu has been writing to his soulmate for thirteen years, eleven months, seventeen days, and eight hours when he finally decides to give up.

he’s been tempered by time; embittered by the constant loss he carries around with him, the loss that only grows when he sees a high schooler giggling at her arm, when he sees words bloom into life on someone’s forearm; changed by the currents of time, which have beat into him time and time again that he will never get a response, that he isn’t worth a response.

time has changed him, and not for the better.

still, though, mingyu finds himself hesitant to end it. he’s carried on for so long, writing his messages for his soulmate to see —  _ did they even bother to look in the first place? _ — that he won’t quite feel whole without them. 

but he takes a deep breath anyway, scrunching his eyes closed, before telling himself to calm down, breathe out, uncap the marker.

_ goodbye _ , he scrawls onto his arm, quickly pulling down his hoodie sleeve as if to hide what he just did.

the word fades away from his skin that night when he showers, but it never truly leaves his thoughts.

and then, the next morning when he wakes up, there are two words on his wrist, written by an unfamiliar hand:  _ i’m sorry. _

mingyu chokes. why has his soulmate finally decided to write back  _ now _ of all times, once he’s finally given up? it is  _ because _ he’s given up?

he shakes his head. thinking this way won’t help him any, and he needs to follow through in a decision for once in his life. he forces himself to turn away from the marker on his bedside table, get dressed, eat breakfast, all without writing back to his soulmate. he’s a little curious, though, as to whether or not his soulmate will continue writing to him.  _ probably not, _ he sighs, _ i’ll give it a couple days.  _

he pulls a hoodie on to cover the words and goes about his day.

by the time mingyu remembers time check on his arm, it’s already been a whole day. right before bed, as he slips out of the hoodie, he notices something new.

his breath catches.

_ it’s okay if you hate me, _ it reads,  _ i hate myself too. you seem like a wonderful person and i’m sorry to have hurt you in this way. _

his fingers itch to grab a marker, respond with it’s not your faults and i forgive yous but he holds himself back, thinks again. sighs. 

call him petty, but he really just wants his soulmate to experience what he’d gone through during all those years and months and days and hours with no reply, no indication whatsoever that his soulmate was alive except for the slight shimmer of the words he wrote, indicative of someone on the receiving end.

his chest hurts, heartbeat sounding loud in his mind.

he doesn’t want to respond; he desperately wants to. he wishes his soulmate never wrote back; he’s so glad they finally did.

he glances over at the marker lying innocently on his bedside table, feeling his willpower to not pick it up wane by the second. he sighs, reaching for the thing, and uncaps it.

_ i don’t hate you,  _ he writes, hesitant.  _ just. why? _

when no reply comes, he shakes his head, caps the marker, and goes to sleep. _ really, i should have expected this. _

  
  


except, when he wakes up the next morning, there are words on his skin. _ jeon wonwoo, _ he reads.  _ look, i’m sorry. i don’t believe in soulmates. _ there’s more written after, but mingyu’s heart plummets. he feels his breath hitch in his throat, a hot prickling in his eyes.  _ dammit, why am i crying? _

he doesn’t know how long he stays like that, furiously blinking back the tears threatening to form in his eyes, but eventually he collects himself enough to keep on reading.

_ please forget about me and move on, _ his soulmate—no,  _ wonwoo _ —has written.  _ you deserve so much better than someone like me. move on. meet better people. i hope you find happiness someday. _

and mingyu is  _ furious _ . 

how  _ dare _ his soulmate, someone he’s never even met, tell him what he deserves? that he deserves better, when he doesn’t even know his soulmate? that there are better people out there for him, people better than the one he’s intended to be with, to love? how can he say “i hope you find happiness someday” when he’s just taken all the happiness out of mingyu’s life?

he grabs the marker from his nightstand and jams the cap onto the end of the marker.  _ you have no right to say that,  _ he scrawls harshly, bitter frown growing on his face,  _ you can’t decide for me what i feel or who i love _ . a pause. he puts pen tip back to skin, takes a deep breath in.  _ but if that’s what you really want, then i’ll leave you alone.  _

_ goodbye, jeon wonwoo. _

he’s had enough heartbreak for this lifetime.

**Author's Note:**

> haha this was like a 2 a.m. thing i wrote for one of my friends (hi kiwi if you ever read this :D ) so if there are any mistakes please let me know !!  
> i haven't written in a long time so i'm,,, a little rusty i guess? i don't really know if i'll continue this so i'll leave it as completed for now, but i might make it not a sad ending someday sdfjdsk
> 
> hope you enjoyed!! thank you all for reading uwu
> 
> find me on twitter and insta @yuejunnie !! dm me if you wanna scream about mvs and idols or anything in general :D


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